There are five common myths that frustrate all estate planners—particularly because we know that not only are they patently untrue, but also because their continued circulation can be harmful.

1. Estate Planning is only for rich people. This is probably the single most common estate planning myth there is—and it is a myth. During a normal year the first $1 million dollars of your estate would transfer to your beneficiaries tax-free. (This is also the expected exemption amount for 2011.) By this standard it certain does seem that only “rich people” need estate planning, but when people add up the value of their home, their life insurance, savings, retirement account, etc., etc., etc. they often find that they are much closer to being a “rich person” than they thought. Not only this, but as we’ll get into in more detail below, estate planning is not only about saving on estate taxes, it’s also about controlling your wealth and protecting your own needs when the unexpected occurs.

2. “I have plenty of time.” AKA: Only old people need estate plans. First of all, just because you’re young doesn’t mean bad things can’t happen to you. But you know this, and anyway, this post is not about fear. Unexpected tragedies aside, an estate plan is useful even when you’re young because an estate plan is not just about death. A good estate plan will include not only a will, but also a healthcare directive and HIPAA Authorization (both of which are useful if you find yourself facing a surprise stay in the hospital), Power of Attorney documents (which you may need if you ever travel outside the country or are otherwise unable to sign for yourself on financial or legal documents), and legal documents relating to minor children (such as medical authorizations—an essential document if you leave your minor child with a babysitter for any extended period of time.)

3. Married people don’t need estate plans. While it is true that a married person with straightforward wishes for the distribution of their property has less need of estate planning, it does not necessarily follow that they can skip estate planning altogether. Under normal circumstances, any jointly held property will pass to the surviving spouse upon the death of the first spouse… But what happens if the surviving spouse gets re-married? What about the property you would specifically like to go to your children, or to your parents or siblings? And what if both you and your spouse die together? These are the reasons why even married people should consider drawing up a simple plan.

4. All I need is a quick will and I’m done. A quick will is certainly better than no will. And if you want to be technical, you don’t even need a quick will; after all, your state of residence has a plan already in place for you. The problem is that it may not be the plan you want. There is a saying that “anything worth doing is worth doing well.” This goes for wills (or any other legal document) as well. If you want the basics you can have the basics. But if you want the best, you’re going to need to spend a little more time on it.

5. Estate Planning is only about money. Although money is often one of the main motivating factors behind creating an estate plan, money is absolutely not what estate planning is all about. Estate planning is about people. It’s about your family and doing what’s right for them. Estate planning is not just about saving your family from estate taxes, or making sure Junior gets the house; it’s about leaving them peace of mind. A well thought-out will or trust saves them from a lengthy probate process, but also reassures siblings that they are doing what mom or dad really would have wanted. And a memorandum of intent gives you the opportunity to express the things that sometimes cannot be expressed during life. An estate plan is full of documents designed not just to save you or your heirs money, but to allow you to express your wishes and values even after your death. Estate Planning is about more than just money—it’s about family, legacy, and love.

We write often on our blog about specific pieces of the estate planning whole: elder law, retirement planning, estate administration, etc… But sometimes it’s important to pull back and look at the big picture—to remind ourselves why we’re doing all this in the first place. And the plain truth is that there is one main reason we do this: Love.

Now, “love” may sound sappy and sentimental, but when it comes down to it love truly is the only reason we would spend time and money thinking about the unpleasant subject of death, and planning for a time that we won’t be around to enjoy.

Estate Planning Ensures Your Minor Children Have a Home

Part of creating your estate plan includes nominating guardians for your minor children. Without this nomination your children are at the mercy of the court should anything happen to you. Estate planning also allows you to ensure that your minor children and their guardians have the financial security they need to make a smooth transition during a difficult time.

Estate Planning Preserves Sibling Relationships

There are fewer things more stressful to a family than the death of a beloved parent. And it is at this time more than any other that fights are liable to break out between normally loving siblings: Fights over what to do for mom’s funeral, over who gets treasured heirlooms, over who dad would have wanted to distribute the estate. All of these fights can be easily avoided by creating an estate plan that spells out your wishes in clear and loving terms.

Estate Planning Allows You to Provide for Your Children and Grandchildren

You spend a lifetime raising and caring for your children knowing that someday, when you’re gone, they’ll have to fend for themselves. Creating an estate plan allows you to leave a little bit behind, a cushion your children can hold in reserve in case of emergency. An estate plan allows you to continue providing for your children even after you’ve gone.

Estate Planning Leaves an Enduring Legacy

Estate planning is not just about finances and paperwork, it’s about relationships. Creating your estate plan allows you to brush away life’s minor details and minutia and focus on what’s really important, allowing you to connect with your loved ones in a more meaningful and lasting way than ever before. Your estate plan expresses your enduring values, leaving a legacy for your family that will live on for generations to come.

Elderly people and their families can spend months—sometimes years—looking for the perfect long-term care living arrangement. Most families try to avoid the nursing home option to the very end, believing that assisted living or small residential care homes provide a better quality of life. But is this fact or fiction?

Paula Span in her article on the NY Times New Old Age Blog suggests that “what variety of facility an older person lives in may matter less than we’ve assumed. And that the characteristics adult children look for when they begin the search aren’t necessarily what makes a difference to the people who move in.”

Span’s suggestion is based on (among other things) a recent study published in The Journal of Applied Gerontology, which found that among 150 Connecticut residents living in various long-term care situations (assisted living, nursing homes, residential care homes), the type of living situation itself made little difference in the resident’s emotional well-being. Rather, happiness and contentment was more a matter of “the characteristics of the specific environment they’re in, combined with their own personal characteristics — how healthy they feel they are, their age and marital status.”

Logically enough, a resident of a long-term care facility of any kind is more likely to report satisfaction and comfort if they had a hand in choosing their living situation, if they were part of the decision making process. In fact, it is the process itself—researching options, visiting facilities, considering current and future social and physical needs and how they will be met—that is the beginning of acclimatization.

Whatever your choice, you’ll want to know that you have options for paying for your long-term care living situation. Medicare.gov has published a chart summarizing and comparing the various options for long-term care financing. Or please feel free to contact our office for more information.

Many adult children of an aging parent get to a point in their parent’s care where they feel they have only two options: move their parent in with them so that they (or their spouse) can provide around-the-clock care, or move their parent into a nursing home. Reaching this point can be a very emotional time for both parent and child; with the parent feeling anger and frustration at the loss of independence, and the child feeling that they have somehow failed their parent.

Improving technology may never be able to remove the need for this decision entirely, but it may be able to postpone it a little. A recent article in the New York Times describes some new technologies that help adult children monitor their aging parent right inside the home, therefore removing the need (or at least delaying the need) for physical around-the-clock supervision.

One of the new technologies mentioned in the article (called GrandCare) “allows families to place movement sensors throughout a house. Information — about when doors were opened, what time a person got into and out of bed, whether there’s been any movement in a room for a certain time period — is sent out via e-mail, text message or voice mail.” It is this kind of in-home monitoring that may allow seniors to remain in their homes longer.

Some seniors have reservations about these new technologies, however, something that they consider to be an invasion of privacy. Nancy Schlossberg is quoted in the article as comparing these new technologies to nanny-cams, “Big Brother is watching you — there’s something about it that’s very offensive.” Some seniors may agree with her, but if it comes down to a choice between technological monitoring or moving to a nursing home they may find that “Big Brother” is the lesser of two evils.